Tag Archives: hope

an update that’s not really one.

Lately I’ve been vaguebooking over on FB.  Not a lot (probably 3 status updates?) but substantially more than I’ve ever vaguebooked before.

There’s a good reason for this.  Massive changes are happening behind the scenes, and I don’t want to make anything public until I have a few more things confirmed – the “ducks in a row” that I’ve mentioned a few times.

To say more without really saying much (hey! perhaps I should go into politics!) I’ve been questioning the direction my life is/was taking, and came to the conclusion that I wasn’t particularly happy with what was going on.   And then an opportunity presented itself that essentially made me choose between continuing with life as it was going, or to make a drastic change.

For those who know me “in real life”, you are most probably aware of what is going on – I’ve told most people who are close to me.  I guess another reason I’m hesitant to post anything online is because it makes things even MORE real and that’s…..well, I’m just gonna hold off for those ducks to line up.  Well until their gathering resembles more of a line than what it does at the moment.

At the start of 2015, I wrote about how my #OneWord365 for 2015 (in addition to HOPE) was: BRAVE (do more things that scare you).

Let’s just say for now, I had NO IDEA how relevant my OneWord was going to be.

xxP

#OneWord365 – 2015

With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let you know
How much you’ve touched my life because
Here is where you’re finding me
In the exact same place as New Years Eve
And from the lack of my persistency
We’re less than half as close as I wanna be

(Relient K – I Celebrate the Day)

2015 has arrived – and with it, all of the resolutions that people make with the best of intentions.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t do resolutions. But what I do do, is join with the community over at #OneWord365 and choose a word that I will then allow to “flavour” my year.

(and as with my 2015 #OneWord365 post, I’m typing this sitting in a cafe in my hometown…..“in the exact same place….”)

Last year, that word was HOPE.

This year?  I’m going to cheat (if that’s even a thing here!) and choose HOPE again.

Why?

2014 was a really hard year for me, personally and professionally.  While intentionally choosing to live focused on Hope, I ended up being treated for depression, anxiety, and stress.  This impacted on both my personal life and my professional life.  I came extremely close to losing my job.  Things that I had hoped that were going to happen in my personal life simply didn’t happen – and to be honest, they seem further away than ever.

But…

1) I truly believe that choosing to live with hope as my focus in 2014 was one of the major reasons I came out of 2014 as relatively unscathed as I did.
2) I am beginning to think that HOPE may become more than a #OneWord365″ word for me (I’m going to need a new word for 2016!)

So, my word for 2015 will again be HOPE – with an addendum: BE BRAVE (do more things that scare me).

Two of those things that scare me that I am planning on attacking early on in 2015: heading back to Uni, and starting to audition for those musicals that I keep getting told to audition for.

So here’s to a big, scary 2015 🙂

hope

The Trees – Philip Larkin

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old?
No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.